Never Be Too Quick to Get Rid of Fear

Photo by Vadim Bogulov on Unsplash‍ ‍

Years ago, I was about to deliver my first contract training.

Before that, I had taught as an adjunct professor and facilitated as part of my employment. But this was different. This was my business. My name. My future.

If it went well, maybe I could leave my job. Maybe I could follow my dream and build my own vision, not someone elses.

I felt sick to my stomach.

I slid a note to a colleague sitting next to me: “I’m anxious.”

She wrote back, “What normally happens when you’re anxious before a big presentation?”

I paused.

Then wrote: “I kill it.”

And I did.

That day taught me something I’ve never forgotten:

Fear isn’t a sign you’re unprepared. It’s a sign something matters.

In my work now, people often say they want more confidence. Less imposter syndrome. More clarity.

But when we strip away the labels, we invariably learn that they are already doing what they need to do or that they have a smart strategy.

It wasn’t confidence they needed. Confidence is over rated anyway. What they usually want it to no longer feel the fear.

We’re quick to name it. Diagnose it. Treat it like something to get rid of.

I’m not convinced that’s helpful.

Fear doesn’t always need treatment. Believe me, the “treatment” I prescribed for myself to get rid of fear did far more damage than the fear itself. Fear simply wants attention. If it didn’t, your body wouldn’t feel such discomfort.

When you sit with the fear, fell the tightness in your chest, and the sick churn in your stomach, fear usually says something simple:

“I just want to know you’ve got this.”

Not that you won’t fail.
Not that you’ll be perfect.

Just that you’re paying attention.

These days, I’m more concerned when I don’t feel fear.

It’s gotten me this far. Why would I cast it aside now?

Confidence isn’t the absence of fear.

It’s knowing you can feel it — and move anyway.